Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
