i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
