Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
