You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
