idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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