Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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