It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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