I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
