He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
