it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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