I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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