Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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