Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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