super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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