I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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