My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
