Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
