I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
