He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She told me I should be a condom model.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Randomize
