A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
