someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
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