are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize