the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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