im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
how does that bad decision feel?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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