I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I looked at my own cervix.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
