Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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