Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
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Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
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I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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