I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
