Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
