her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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