Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize