Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
they're like a gay fantastic four
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
