The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My hand turned me down
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
