You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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