that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
