so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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