I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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