I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize