Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
