Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
