I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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