i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
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