I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How does it feel to date your dad?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
