A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
