Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
