Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
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We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
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he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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