I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
