Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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