Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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