Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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