Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I faked an abortion last night.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
