he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
as a side note pls kill me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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