found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
