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• (317): View more from Indiana

  did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more

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• (214): View more from Texas

  dude. I'm so drunk.

  (972): View more from Texas

  pete, this is bryce's mom

  (214): View more from Texas

  I can't wait to have my cock in your ass

  (972): View more from Texas

  pete, this is still bryce's mom

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• (954): View more from Florida

  just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything

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• (409): View more from Texas

  We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  We are the best.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Ps. We need to take the garbage out.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  where are you guys?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  stoned at his house watching water boil

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