you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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