Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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