Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
