u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
two words...techno handjob
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
