So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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