Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
