I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
